Growing Pains: A Call to Rise Up as a Signing Community

Vlog | Destiny Yarbro | April 1, 2026 | 10 min watch

Hello! In today's video, I'm encouraging us as a signing community to rise up and do better!

0:08 Why ASL Students Are Criticizing Online

Remember in my last video how I mentioned I'm noticing a tendency among ASL students to criticize creators? "Your sign is different than my teacher's which obviously means you're wrong and I'm right." Remember how I mentioned that?

I think what's happening is this. They're watching the signing community and seeing the clashes, the infighting, the arguments, the criticizing each other. They see this and then go and criticize others themselves.

I think, sometimes, these students are copying what they see. So, yes, ableism is involved in that behavior, sure, but I think that they're also aping what they see the signing community do.

They're applying what they see and doing likewise to "be just like you guys." That's just what I think is happening.

I need to be careful in this video because this isn't everyone. Not all ASL students are doing this, not all Deaf are criticizing each other.

Not at all but this is very interesting time for the sign community. We're all trying to figure out where we fit in, what this will look like, because well, you know the phrase "growing pains"?

1:12 Growing Pains in the Deaf Community 

There's growing pains because in the past the Deaf community was quite insular and now the community has grown so quickly. There's an army of ASL students, tens of thousands that have joined the signing community.

We're finally recognizing that CODAs are absolutely part of this community, they're not outsiders. "We're the Deaf community and you're not." That's not happening anymore. Well, it's happening less now. We now recognize that this is their heritage. Sign, culture, community are theirs even if they're not Deaf but everything else is theirs.

And now, for interpreters, people will film them, post the videos online and strangers critique them from afar. So interpreters have a lot of fear that way. So it's an interesting time for the community.

2:28 An Increase in Lateral Oppression in the Community

The rapid growth and the resulting growing pains are I think exacerbating, increasing what's called "lateral oppression" which is when a minority community with its identity, language, heritage and history, when a minority community experiences oppression, is looked down on, is seen as 'less than,' how may they respond?

Instead of pointing fingers at the oppressors, saying "you're wrong" "why do you do this?" instead they turn against each other and instead of encouraging and loving each other, instead of positive reinforcement, instead of that, they look at each other with distrust, the spread negativity, they criticize, they look down on each other, they put down each other "you're not good enough", their hostility is horizontal.

This is the case for most minority groups, it's not just the Deaf community. So I think that's what's happening here, online, on TikTok, on YouTube, I think this is what's happening.

3:25 Linguism and Lateral Audism Explained 

Specifically, linguism and lateral audism are happening. Linguism is discrimination based on language, criticizing how someone signs, "you sign wrong" "you don't sign well enough" while lateral audism is judgement based on identity, "you're not Deaf enough"

Now let me just say that I get it, I get that a lot of Deaf creators online, on TikTok (especially on TikTok!) and on YouTube probably shouldn't be teaching. Again, I get that. A lot of people teaching online don't know sign and / or don't know how to teach. I get it.

But, let me emphasize this, but we're hurting each other by this behavior. Instead of building up our community, we're dismantling it from the inside. And the respect that we have for each other seems to be disappearing. Not always, but online, absolutely.

Our community is suffering right now. But again, I'm hopeful that this is just a phase, that it's just growing pains.

4:30 Marlee Matline: History Repeated

But as I see the arguments, the anger, the drama, the criticism, the rampant negativity, I see it and think, this is just like what happened back in the day with Marlee Matlin. She was an actress in a movie and won I think it was an academy award for her portrayal.

Anyways, she stood up in front of the huge audience to receive her award and then gave her acceptance speech in spoken English, not sign. Now, she had grown up with hearing, she had picked up sign language, but she didn't grow up immersed in the Deaf world. She didn't know Deaf culture, she didn't identify as "big-D" Deaf, she didn't know about any of this. She was innocent and practically a teenager who didn't know about any of this.

So when she stood up and spoke instead of signed, after practicing and practicing how to speak her entire life which was no doubt a challenge, she was actually able to speak for her speech. But what happened was that the Deaf community was livid, they denounced her and were just so angry which I get because if that happened today, if Nyle DiMarco or the CODA cast, if they received such a prestigious award and then spoke instead of signed, I would feel so heartsick at that missed opportunity. It would be a punch in the gut.

But that instant response of anger and criticism again Marlee Matlin, well, it would be hard for us to think of someone who is more recognized around the world, more famous amongst Deaf and hearing, who has done more publicly to encourage change and improvement, to build up this community than Marlee Matlin. She has done so much!

It's funny because in the past she would have been labeled "not Deaf enough" but she has become a leader in the Deaf community in so many ways.

6:24 Why Infighting Hurts the Deaf Community 

So my concern is we're just so busy sniping at each other that we forget that we're a community, that we can build up each other, help those creators who are teaching by encouraging them to go to school to become teachers (like now, go now laugh)

Or gently say, "Just so you know, that sign you're teaching, careful because that sign can be tricky." Gentle warnings. Rather than announcing to the world, criticizing publicly, or filming yourself railing at these creators, telling your followers how much you despise them and "don't follow them!"

Let's just step back for a moment and remember that we're all human beings first, people with worth and this community has a beautiful, rich history with a beautiful language and it blesses so many, many people, not just Deaf. People who can't speak, people with anxiety, people with autism, and people with so many struggles, it blesses.

7:30 A Better Way Forward for the Signing Community 

So maybe instead of drawing such firm lines, "WE are the Deaf community, go away, you don't fit in here. CODAs, I know you grew up in the community but you too, you're not on the inside." Instead perhaps we can just recognize that now is an interesting time where we can all gather together to form the community.

7:50 Bigger Signing Community Means...

That if the community grows even more, that means more visibility, more world recognition of the community, more people who learn ASL. It means more parents who, when having a Deaf baby, instead of freaking out they know to start learning sign. If the doctors say "Wait, don't learn sign" (like in the past), they can say, "I've seen TikTok, I've seen people sign and I want to learn!" This is really a uniquely wonderful time!

So again, instead of infighting, if we focused on elevating our community, if we supported each other, if we encouraged each other, and we remember the point of this community: the ability to have full communication, full inclusion in society, full acceptance. That's what our ancestors dreamed of! They dreamed of this moment when hearing people throughout the world wanted to learn to sign. That would have just floored them in the past. "What?? You are so lucky!" while in modern times we're feeling a little overwhelmed, "What just happened?!"

So I think that now is a precious time. It's a time when our tendencies, our habits, our old habits like the infighting, can be left behind so we can move forward and improve as a community.

9:22 While Most Minority Languages are Shrinking...

The fact is that most linguistic minorities in the world today, most of these groups are shrinking and their communities are so worried because no one is learning their language, their children aren't learning their languages, they don't know what to do. Contrast this with ASL. It's probably one of the few minority languages that is growing at an exponential rate. That's crazy! That's unique! And it's exciting!

9:53 Please Spread Positivity

If you feel inspired and ready to improve as a community, please consider sharing this video. My reach is limited but this message I feel so strongly in my soul that now is the time, now is the time to make this change, that now is the time to take our community to the next level!

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