Is the Deaf Community Toxic? (a research-based perspective)

Vlog | Destiny Yarbro | June 10, 2026 | 21 min watch

Video Transcript

Some people say the Deaf community is "toxic" and honestly, if your only exposure to the community is on TikTok, then I don't blame you! It certainly seems that way with all of the negativity and criticism that spreads like wildfire.

But interestingly, when we look at the research done on minority communities, groups who've experienced generational trauma, and language deprivation studies, we see fascinating patterns that emerge when these three collide.

Today I want to look at some of these patterns and research so we can better understand each other and identify how we can improve and heal as a signing community.

1:03 – Minority Communities: Strong In-Group Boundaries and Social Policing

The research is clear, minority communities tend to respond to oppression, prejudice and other harmful actions by having a strong identity with strong boundaries as to who is inside the community and who is outside the community.

These boundaries are strong why? Self preservation and group protection. It's us vs. them. It's our community. As a way to protect and ensure survival as a minority group.

And this is the case for *most minority groups, not just Deaf. But in the Deaf community, this may look like:

Having the label of "real" Deaf as in "We are big D deaf, signing Deaf and everyone else? CODAs, Hard of Hearing and everyone else, you don't belong here. We're the community, we're the real community."

And there may be constant social policing online and in the community to identify who isn't allowed, who doesn't belong.

But again, I'm going to emphasize that this pattern is not just found not just in the Deaf community, not at all, this pattern is common amongst minority communities in general. Minorities tend to have strong in-group boundaries to identify who is in and who is out. That tendency is very common as a way to respond to the oppression coming at them. Strong boundaries to protect.

2:28 – Minority Communities: Chronic Stress from Stigma, Discrimination, Exclusion

Also, the research is clear that when someone experiences oppression, trauma, stigma, discrimination, prejudice over a lifetime, over many, many years, that causes stress that is chronic.

And that for the Deaf community may look like: "I feel like I have to fight for everything, for education services, doctor appointments, accessibility, legal support, just so much that I have to fight for every day" and even when you may not need to fight in a specific circumstance, you still feel like you have to battle because of a lifetime of experiences.

3:07 – Minority Communities: Homophily (close-knit bonds in the Deaf community)

Another thing research shows is that minority communities tend to have an increased desire to be around people similar to themselves, called homophily. That is a common pattern among minorities.

And that for the Deaf community may look like really strong bonds between friends and the community being very close-knit like family. I'm going to go more in-depth about this later when we discuss linguistic deprivation but the Deaf community is like a very strong family.

3:43 – Research Based on United States’ Minorities and ASL Deaf Community

Keep in mind that in this video, I am focusing on the ASL community here in the United States and the research on minorities, etc. the research is largely from the United States as well. If you want to read more and delve into this research yourself, you can at the links I've provided in the description below.

The reason I'm focusing on the United States ASL community? Well, it's unique in that this community is growing very rapidly and also there are many strong opinions as to who belongs inside the community and who is not part of the community that many other countries just don't have.

But here in the U.S. there are these strong in-group boundaries.

4:29 – Terminology: Deaf Community vs. Signing Community

Today I'm using two terms: first, the "Deaf community" meaning big D, signing Deaf that pass down their community values.

Second, I'm using the term "signing community" which is the Deaf community, yes, but also includes CODAs as heritage propagators, it includes interpreters, ASL students, non-deaf people who sign for communication, people with disabilities like autism, psychogenic deafness, selective mutism.

They all make up the "signing community" which is a common term in other countries, one of which is Finland whose community is called "the signing community." So I'll be using both these terminologies for this video.

5:15 – Trauma-Affected Groups: Increased Hypervigilance and Threat Sensitivity

The research is clear, when groups experience trauma, the result is often a heightened sensitivity to threat, "Is he dangerous?" "Are you dangerous?" Hypervigilance. Why? Well, years of hurt culminate and is retained in their body and mind.

That may look like, if someone makes a general comment, whether positive or negative, the traumatized person may assume they're criticizing who they are. They assume that they're criticizing them. Why? Because they grew up experiencing danger over years which means they're hypersensitive to danger, worried, paranoid.

I don't mean clinical paranoia, just experience has taught them to worry. And that is the case for all groups who experience trauma.

6:15 – Deaf Community Trauma Statistics

For the Deaf community, this is uniquely potent. I'm going to give you a few stats to help you understand what I'm talking about.

In the Deaf community, 50% experience sexual abuse. 50 percent. And honestly, in my experience, in my observations, 50% is too low. The number is probably much higher. In my experience, most Deaf in the community, most have been sexually abused. Why?

Typically it's because of language deprivation, a reason I'll go more into later. But let's just say if you can't communicate with family and you can't communicate with a trusted adult, abusers gravitate to working at Deaf schools, etc. there are many reasons why abuse is prevalent.

75% of the Deaf community experience abuse, varying types of abuse such as physical, mental, emotional. So 50% sexual abuse, 75% general abuse.

So if a group that experiences this level of trauma tends to be hypervigilant, always looking out for danger, that's why! It's obvious why this is the case.

7:29 – Trauma-Affected Groups: Internalized Oppression or Shame

The research also shows that groups that experience trauma tend to internalize the oppression they experience, they take in that oppression and start to believe it's true. The criticism they receive is internalized because, "it must be true" and thus those negative thoughts are ingrained.

For the Deaf community, this looks like significant self-worth issues, lots of Deaf feeling less than their hearing peers. This is such a common problem. After so many years of being told "you are less, you are disabled, you can't do this, you can't do that" they internalize it, "I can't do this, I can't do that."

8:08 – Trauma-Affected Groups: Intergenerational Trauma Transmission

Also, the research shows that groups that experience trauma tend to pass down that trauma. Intergenerational trauma transmission. So those traumas go from one generation to the next, that needed hypersensitivity is passed down.

So, in the Deaf community, that may look different than other groups because typically Deaf parents don't have Deaf children. And typically, 90% of Deaf children have hearing parents. Which means that it's not the parents passing down that trauma but the community because the community itself is so close-knit like a family.

So that "family" and it really is like a family, passes down that trauma. So it looks different than other groups, but the result is the same.

8:56 – Language Deprivation: Communication Barriers with Hearing Family

Like I mentioned earlier, 80% rather 90% of Deaf children grow up with hearing parents. 80% of those parents don't sign or only know a few signs. Which means that they cannot communicate with parents. Rarely, almost never.

For example, this means having a mother-daughter conversation about sex and sensitive topics? Doesn't happen. Family dinner conversations where everyone is talking, laughing, socializing together? Doesn't happen.

10:15 – Language Deprivation: Delayed Cognitive, Linguistic, Social Development

This means there is no storytelling, reminiscing "remember when..." looking back on good memories? Nope. Planning for the future, imagining a career, having a family, what it would be like to have kids, etc? No. No future planning together.

It means if someone abuses you at school, a Deaf kid can't tell mom and dad what happened so they can help. They just internalize the abuse and it erodes them from the inside.

It means that if there is a group of hearing people all chatting and laughing together, crying together, socializing together, you're isolated.

The research makes it obvious: people with language deprivation experience cognitive development delays, linguistic delays, social skills delays.

Language deprivation can mean that emotional regulation is delayed or is a challenge. It means that relationships, how to navigate conflict, how to have in-depth discussions, how to make up after a fight "I'm so sorry," all those skills are delayed.

It can mean that picking up social cues, for example when to ask a question and when to hold a question until there is a better time, recognizing when it's a good time to ask, that is delayed or is a challenge.

11:10 – Language Deprivation: Less Access to Incidental Learning

It can also mean that if you're language deprived, you are missing out on all of the conversations, debates, everyday chitchat that's happening around you "did you know that..." "did you hear what happened?" You lack access to what's called "incidental learning" where you would pick up world knowledge in a normal, natural way.

You miss out on that typically until you arrive at a Deaf school.

If someone has a cochlear implant, still the ability to overhear information being distributed around may still be significantly delayed. If someone goes to mainstreamed school not only are they missing out on incidental learning, their only access to information is through an interpreter.

So that limits understanding of how the world works which is typically when we learn behavior norms, we learn how to behave.

And this is true for all people with language deprivation, not just Deaf, but it hits the Deaf community extra hard.

11:55 – Growing Pains in the Signing Community: Increase of ASL Students

I think it helps us as a signing community, whether Deaf or not, to understand each other better when we look at these three research findings and recognize patterns found across the board. It increases understanding so we have more compassion for others and more compassion for ourselves.

Recently I made a video talking about how this is a really unique time for the signing community because we're experiencing what I think are "growing pains"

meaning we are growing so fast that we don't know what the community will look like in the future, we don't know what to do about the growth, who belongs and who doesn't belong in the community, that.

We're having such rapid growth why? Well, we have a ton of ASL students, it's the third most popular language being learned in schools. The third! And it's only just behind the second most popular and will likely soon replace it which means that there are a TON, an army of eager students who are learning. Some even starting in elementary school or middle school on up. It's amazing, such rapid growth!

13:25 – Growing Pains in the Signing Community: More Parents Learning ASL

Another reason for the rapid growth is ASL interpreters. There are a lot, more than ever before. Why? Well, VRS requires a large number, interpreter training programs have popped up all over the country, so the number of interpreters has grown quickly.

Another reason for such fast growth in the community is that parents are finally, finally when having a Deaf baby immediately learning ASL, learning how to sign whereas before that never happened, well, rarely, only a few parents did.

14:55 – 6 Steps to Healing and Improving as a Signing Community

Now, before I share with you my thoughts about how we can help and heal and improve as a signing community, I want to first ask you to comment below what you think the community needs, how we can improve, what you think would help healing. Please type a comment below.

I think we can discuss together, not argue, not butt heads but just discuss, brainstorm, figure out, share inspiring "You know what I think might help?" Ideas like that.

I think together as a community we can figure out how we can improve. For many years now, I've wondered how to help us as a community heal. I've really thought on it. And I have a few thoughts and ideas.

15:55 – Step 1: Recognize the Accumulated Pain of the Deaf Community

First, I think it's important that we first recognize the pain that has accumulated over the years in the Deaf community. That there are generations of pain that we need to recognize first.

And recognize that the research shows that minority communities tend to have patterns, groups who experience trauma have patterns, and language deprivation causes certain patterns and we have to see how all three merge when it comes to the Deaf community. It hits hard.

16:28 – Step 2: Community is Experiencing Growing Pains

Second, I think it's important to recognize that this signing community is growing exponentially right now and really that means we're experiencing growing pains, right? Such rapid growth means we're trying to orient ourselves and figure out what the community will look like in the future. It's an unsure time, a strange time. And it's okay to say "I don't know, I don't know what the future will hold." It's an odd time.

16:58 – Step 3: How Social Media (TikTok) Amplifies Conflict and Drama

Third, let's recognize that TikTok and online venues is where most of the clashes happen. Most of the drama, most of the toxicity is there online not in the everyday interactions we have with the community. So if you're only experience with the community is on TikTok where the drama is like a rollercoaster then you might need to disconnect, unplug and socialize with the real world community, socialize with real people. You're still going to see those patterns, sure, but not to the extremes that are found online.

17:34 – Step 4: Healthy Boundaries vs. Entrenched Linguism

Fourth, I think it's important to realize that we can still have what's called "healthy boundaries" but we don't need to draw such firm lines in the sand, such staunch in-group boundaries. "CODAs you don't belong. Interpreters, you shouldn't be here. ASL students, get out of here. Disabilities, we're not you." and further entrench ourselves, themselves. We don't have to do this anymore.

I know, there has been so much pain and so much trauma for so many years, I know. But we can always improve ourselves. Of course the community's history, language, and culture will still be passed forward, absolutely, but the infighting, the old habits, we can let go of those and send them on their merry way.

18:23 – Inclusive "Signing Community" (Finland Example)

Fifth, I think it's important if we recognize that in the world today, most minority communities, minority languages rather, are shrinking in speakers and dying out. Most languages in the world are going extinct. But this community, this language in contrast is growing unbelievably fast. And that is unique! That, honestly I can't think of any other minority language growing this fast. So that is an incredible blessing.

19:44 – ASL Is Growing Amid Global Minority Language Decline

Is sign language dying off, disappearing? Not at all. Remember in the not-so-distant-past people were so worried that sign would disappear because of cochlear implants. But that hasn't happened. And it looks like won't happen as sign language is persisting. It's not going anywhere.

That is extremely rare in the world today. That while minority languages are shrinking, we're growing rapidly.

20:37 – Conclusion

I'm excited to read your comments and see how we can support each other and figure out how to improve together, how to heal, how to better understand each other. I'm excited! Please comment below, let's pass around ideas specifically on how we can heal, let's not be negative anymore but heal.

If you enjoyed this video, do you mind subscribing, liking, and sharing? You can help this video's positive message spread so we can, I hope, be more understanding.

This video is finished, yes, but you can watch more with this video here about sign language standardization or this video here. Two videos that I recently published. Thank you for watching!

My Videos

Minority Communities: Strong In-Group Boundaries and Social Policing

Tajfel, H., & Turner, J. C. (1979). An integrative theory of intergroup conflict. In W. G. Austin & S. Worchel (Eds.), The social psychology of intergroup relations (pp. 33–48). Brooks/Cole.

Preston, J. L., & Ehrlich, S. (2004). Ideological conflict at group boundaries: The hearing children of deaf adults. Deaf Studies Digital Journal.

Minority Communities: Chronic Stress from Stigma, Discrimination, Exclusion

Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674–697.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.5.674

Williams, D. R., & Mohammed, S. A. (2009). Discrimination and racial disparities in health: Evidence and needed research. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 32(1), 20–47.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10865-008-9185-0

Sternthal, M. J., Slopen, N., & Williams, D. R. (2011). Racial disparities in health: How much does stress really matter? Du Bois Review, 8(1), 95–113.

Minority Communities: Homophily

McPherson, M., Smith-Lovin, L., & Cook, J. M. (2001). Birds of a feather: Homophily in social networks. Annual Review of Sociology, 27, 415–444.
https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.soc.27.1.415

Lee, C., et al. (2017). Homophily in minority social networks. arXiv preprint.
https://arxiv.org/abs/1710.08601

Terminology Used: Finland Example

Kuurojen Liitto (Finnish Association of the Deaf). The signing community.

World Federation of the Deaf. (2018). WFD position paper: Deaf community as linguistic minority or disability.
https://wfdeaf.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/WFD-position-paper_Deaf-community-as-linguistic-identity-or-disability.pdf

Trauma-Affected Groups: Increased Hypervigilance and Threat Sensitivity

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score. Viking Press.

Matheson, K., et al. (2019). Traumatic experiences, perceived discrimination, and psychological distress among members of various socially marginalized groups. Frontiers in Psychology.

McLaughlin, K. A., et al. (2019). Mechanisms linking childhood trauma and psychopathology. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 107, 444–459.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2019.09.023

Trauma-Affected Groups: Internalized Oppression or Shame

David, E. J. R. (Ed.). (2014). Internalized oppression: The psychology of marginalized groups. Springer Publishing Company.

David, E. J. R., Schroeder, T. H., & Fernandez, J. (2019). The legacies of systemic and internalized oppression. Social Psychology of Education.

Tomaszewski, W., et al. (2025). Internalized oppression among Deaf individuals: Impacts on mental health. Scientific Reports, 15, 89789.
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-89789-1

Trauma-Affected Groups: Intergenerational Trauma Transmission

Sotero, M. (2006). A conceptual model of historical trauma. Journal of Health Disparities Research and Practice, 1(1), 93–108.
https://digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/jhdrp/vol1/iss1/8/

Nagata, D. K., Kim, J. H. J., & Gone, J. P. (2024). Intergenerational transmission of ethnoracial historical trauma. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 20, 175–200.
https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-080822-044522

Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects. World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243–257.
https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20578

Language Deprivation: Number of Deaf Children without Signing Parents

Hall, W. C., Levin, L. L., & Anderson, M. L. (2017). Language deprivation syndrome. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 52, 761–776.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-017-1351-7

National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD). (2024). Quick statistics about hearing.
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing

Language Deprivation: Delayed Cognitive Development

Mayberry, R. I. (2002). Cognitive development of deaf children. In Handbook of Neuropsychology.

Lane, H., & Mayberry, R. I. (2019). Language deprivation and the social-emotional development of deaf children. Handbook of Deaf Studies.

Language Deprivation: Delayed Emotional Regulation and Social Relationships

Greenberg, M. T., & Kusche, C. A. (1993). Promoting social and emotional development in deaf children. University of Washington Press.

Hintermair, M. (2006). Parental resources, parental stress, and socioemotional development of deaf and hard of hearing children. Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, 11(4), 493–513.
https://doi.org/10.1093/deafed/enl003

Language Deprivation: Less Access to Incidental Learning

Schein, J., & Delk, M. (1974). Deaf children in hearing families: Communication patterns and language acquisition. Volta Review.

Marschark, M., et al. (2015). Word and world knowledge among deaf learners with and without cochlear implants. Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, 20(4), 360–377.
https://doi.org/10.1093/deafed/env013

National Association of the Deaf (2023). Implications of language deprivation.
https://www.nad.org/resources/american-sign-language/implications-of-language-deprivation/

Growing Pains: Number of ASL Students

Looney, A., & Lusin, N. (2023). Enrollments in languages other than English in U.S. institutions of higher education. Modern Language Association.
https://www.mla.org/content/download/191324/file/Enrollments-in-Languages-Other-Than-English-in-US-Institutions-of-Higher-Education-Fall-2021.pdf

Growing Pains: ASL-English Interpreting "A Rapidly Expanding Field"

Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf (RID). (n.d.). Resources.
https://rid.org/resources/

Growing Pains: Most Minority Languages Shrinking

UNESCO (2003). Language vitality and endangerment.
https://ich.unesco.org/doc/src/00120-EN.pdf

Bromham, L., et al. (2022). Global predictors of language endangerment and the future of linguistic diversity. Nature Ecology & Evolution.
https://doi.org/10.1038/s41559-021-01604-y